The Clinton craze

I love my family. I really do. But some of them, at one point or another, buy into the anti-Clinton craze that occasionally (once every 25 years or so) sweeps the nation. The craze has swept in again, and taken certain members of my family with it.

Last night, I was subjected to an anti-Clinton video that was strikingly repugnant. Its entire point was to slander, malign, and strip of all dignity Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton. I won’t go into the circumstances under which I was made to watch, except to say that the video was treated like holy writ, its claims unchallenged, its 30-year-old charges treated like news. To me, it wasn’t news. I’ve been hearing this stuff since I was in my early 20s – or, since Bill Clinton first ran for president in 1992. I’ve heard it all before. I don’t want to hear it anymore.

My mind is stuffed full of Clinton innuendo, suspicion and hatred – none of which I take seriously, 99 percent of which I reject outright. Yet it sticks to your psyche like monkey shit flung from a cage onto helpless spectators. The Clinton detractors know no shame, no floor, no limits, no bounds. To a person, they spring from the same Arkansas soil that gave us Clinton himself, and to a person, they are filled with bile, spewing the most poisonous hatred imaginable. There is nothing Christian in their words, conduct or behavior. Bill Clinton, to them, is worse than the devil, and they don’t mind saying so. It matters not that he has a daughter who they subject to their slander. He’s the devil and they’re going to repeat it until it becomes true. This must have been going on since Clinton was a child. Quite frankly, I don’t see how the man continued in public life. The level of vitriol spewed out against him is unprecedented, unremorseful, and seemingly without end.

It all starts right here in Arkansas, every word of it. Of course, that’s where Clinton’s political career started. According to these slanderous assholes, Clinton built his career on evil deeds that included, but were not limited to, murder, dope-smuggling, rape, intimidation, money laundering, theft, and, of course, lies – all manner of lies. His mother was a whore, his father an imp of Satan. His marriage to Hillary was a match made in the depths of hell, and their child, Chelsea, the result of political necessity. (They could never, ever love their child, of course, this inhuman couple.)

Talking head after talking head comes forward in the video to debase the Clintons. They speak in hushed, reverential tones of Bobby Seale and Mena, Arkansas. They gibber about parties loaded with “ashtrays full of cocaine.” Why, Clinton and his minions even got a 17-year-old cheerleader-virgin pregnant and sent her off to whore in Reno, Nev.! Then there’s the money-laundering – hundreds of millions of dollars snuck into the country by illicit means, run through Clinton’s personal “Machine,” and then “zeroed-out” by … well, somebody. Somebody evil. Somebody trying to take their operation  all the way to … Washington, DC!

Then you have the murders. Yes, Bill and Hillary have murdered thousands of people (most of them Arkansans!) on their way to the White House. Most egregiously, the two boys on the railroad tracks. (Long story.) And, of course, they were enabled EVERY STEP OF THE WAY by equally evil/incompetent/depraved/nefarious fellow Arkansans. Judges, police officers, medical examiners, entire law firms – even the media – have been complicit in Billary’s demon-inspired march to Pennsylvania Avenue. You’d think Arkansas was a literal hell on earth if you believed half this shit, because half of Arkansas seems to have been “in on the cover-up.”

Then you have all the collateral damage, the “witnesses” who were “murdered” because they “knew too much.” The guy who got decapitated for knowing too much. The guy who got stabbed to death for “knowing too much.” The guy who got set on fire in a garbage dump because he “knew too much.” The guy who had a heart attack because he “knew too much.” And the countless others who were simply “never seen or heard from again,” because … well, ok, you get the idea. It’s a real problem knowing too much, isn’t it? A dangerous thing.

NOT ONE WORD OF ANY OF THIS is substantiated. Why not? Well, because the press won’t report it. (God knows why not – wouldn’t this crap SELL PAPERS??) Everyone one, it seems, was in the hip pocket of the Clintons, and if you weren’t, well, you got whacked. (“This was no ordinary stroke! This was THE CLINTONS!”) Yet to shore up its claims of unchecked slaughter and political chicanery, the “documentary” (HA HA!) does occasionally flash a legit-seeming headline or two (Clinton admits he’s the devil, says prosecutor) – only when you examine the fine print, you realize you’re not seeing a headline from an actual newspaper, but from a right-wing piece of shit masquerading as journalism. Oh, there are plenty of those publications out there, alright. Still trying to take down a man who has been out of office for 16 fucking years.

The video was an atrocity, yet members of my family take it seriously. Now, put an exponent next to that, and you’ve got the number of people in this country – voters! – who also take it seriously. They don’t care that EVERY WORD of this made-up shit is more than a quarter of a century old. They don’t care that it is unproven, unsubstantiated, unreliable, anecdotal, libelous and slanderous. They don’t care that someone’s child, Chelsea Clinton, is being subjected to this noxious hypocrisy and evil gossip-mongering. They don’t seem to mind how ridiculous it all sounds, how unhinged it seems (and is). And they certainly seem OK with drawing the line at the Clintons as far as their Christian beliefs are concerned. Forgive Donald Trump his lecherous, abusive, sexually aggressive, possibly criminal behavior? Sure, fine. BILL CLINTON IS THE DEVIL!

Look … I’ve lived in this state most of my life. I’ve met Bill Clinton. The first time was at an airport. He was nice; he shook my hand. The second time was in the office of my newspaper, as he was running for president in ’92. He still remembered my name from two years earlier. He was nice and made sure he chatted with everyone. No one got groped. He sat for an interview. He went to his uncle’s house, took off his tie, and drank a Diet Coke with the old man beneath a shed roof. Bill seemed like everybody’s buddy. (Indeed, his uncle’s name was Buddy.) I saw him again almost 20 years later at Ouachita Baptist University, where he lectured for two hours without referring to a single printed note. Later, he shook hands with the public for another hour. A friend of mine (who admittedly hates the Clintons) approached Bill for a handshake, and Bill said to him, “I remember your grandfather from such-and-such,” and instantly recalled amazing details about my friend’s grandfather. All while shaking hands. That night, Bill reportedly stopped at the Arkadelphia Taco Bell, alone, for a quick bite to eat. All I can tell you is, he’s a regular guy.

I knew a couple of the folks featured in the video. One was the prosecutor in a town where I worked, the other, a former sheriff from Nevada County, where I grew up. You live here long enough, you sooner or later meet someone featured in an underground Clinton video. By the way, this video had all the production quality of a snuff film, and its poor recording made it occasionally seem like a broadcast from another planet.

Which it was. This “documentary” (HA HA!) represented an alternate reality in which up is down, right is wrong, black is white, sex is rape, death is murder and ambiguity lies. Yes, the Clintons might have had some culpability in some of the things that went on in Arkansas in the 1970s and 1980s – it’s a small state, Clinton was governor, and he’s got kinfolks everywhere. Plus, shit happens. However, you cannot expect me to believe he was involved in EVERY major or minor crime for 20 years AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. I mean, this stuff not only defies decency, it defies common sense.

Now it rears its ugly head again with Hillary and the chance that a woman could get elected president.

It is without question the shame of the country.


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