My ongoing collection of epigrams:
The more people I meet, the more I like my Jack Russell Terrier.
Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.
Kicking my higher power in the crotch.
Gone but forgotten.
I have a bad feeling about this. (Han Solo)
People who have more birthdays live longer.
I don’t need your attitude, I have my own.
Learner’s permit to kill.
Dear Math, solve your own problems.
If I said you have a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? (The Bellamy Brothers)
Life is a balance of good and evil.
Thinking outside the bomb.
Love is like a dying ember/only memories will remain (Willie Nelson)
Support our troops, bring them home.
Because no cause or ideology should be valued more than human life.
You better occupy the kitchen, liberate the sink (Kinky Friedman)
If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.
What tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
A little dab will do.
Let’s go around by Laura’s house.
Jeet yet? No, Jew?
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws with have guns.
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will halve guns.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t.
In everything, moderation.
Just keep coming until you hear glass.
The best ship of all? Friendship.
Oh, friend, let’s try to score/for peace and not for war (Kinky Friedman)
Doing it your way since 1970.
Break me off a piece of that Kit-Kat bar.
The only candy with a cookie crunch.
Taste the rainbow.
No bottles to break. Just hearts. (advertisement)
More experience than my name suggests.
Today, the school. Tomorrow, the world!
Oompapa, oompapa, oompapa, mow mow (Oak Ridge Boys)
It’s enough to drive you crazy if you let it (Dolly Parton)
Because you’re worth it.
Because I’m worth it.
Doing the student body good.
It was raining when you were born because heaven was crying for losing an angel.
Lucky for you mirrors can’t laugh.
As slick as a boiled frog with a broken leg.
Like a band of gypsies we go down the highway (Willie Nelson)
I turned to a stranger, just like a friend (Johnny Lee)
There’s no feeling so alone/as when the one you’re hurting/is your own (Bono)
Oneyay utbay otnay ethay amesay
Does enchantment pour/out of every door?/No, it’s just on the street where you live
No, they ain’t makin Jews like Jesus anymore/we don’t turn the other cheek the way they done before (Kinky Friedman)
Whiskey River, take my mind! (Willie Nelson)
All rooms are future ruins.
The most wasted of all days are ones without laughter. (ee cummings)
Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense. (ee cummings)
Listen: There’s a hell of a good universe next door, let’s go! (ee cummings)
No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough. (Roger Ebert)
Beauty is nothing but the beginning of terror (Rilke)
I want to be with those who know secret things or else alone (Rilke)
The work of the eyes is done. Go now and do the heart-work on the images imprisoned within you (Rilke)
Ignorant men raise questions that wise men answered 1,000 years ago. (Goethe)
And the day will come, when the risk of remaining too tight in the bud will be more painful than the risk it took to bud. (Anais Nin)
Comedy is merely tragedy happening to someone else.
Live simply, so that others may simply live. (Mother Theresa)
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Blessed are the peacemakers.
If you can’t be a good example, be a horrible warning.
A dwarfish whole, its body brevity, and wit, its soul
The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
A good book is the life blood of a master spirit.
Cleverness is not wisdom.
Believe in God but keep your powder dry.
Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.