What’s your title?

“Wife of Thoughts”

“The Butterfly of the Return”

“The Stolen Night”

“The Kiss Goodbye”

“The Window in the Room”

“The Flame of the Bride”

“The D-Word”

“The D-Bag”

“The Generator of Destiny”

“The Machine of Truth”

“The Lies of Garb-Bag the Second”

“King Tut and the Mummies of Yore”

“Academy of Love”

“Lord in the Mists”

“The Jesus of Pots and Pans”

“Prayer List”

“How to Avoid a Baptism”

“The Truth of Luck”

“The Luck of Truth”

“The Twisting Road of Desire”

“Serpent in the Water”

“The Dragon’s Ballpark”

“Hustler in the Garden”

“One Cold Spider”

“The Magician’s Ex-Wife”

“The Car Hop’s Secret Novel”

“A Trip to City Hall”

“Firing the Alien”

“Anybody Here? AAAAAARRRRGH!”

“Under the Seat Cushions”

“I Ate Gum”

“Payment in Sperm”

“The Awkward Weekend in Bentonville”

“The Emperor’s Haberdasher”

“Nuclear Spring”

“Hitler’s Post Office Box Key”

“A Drive in the Swamp”

“Motel Inn”

“My Facebook Friends Are All A*******”

“Knife at a Gunfight”

“A Magazine and a Clip”

“Home is a Great Place to Call”

“Liposuction and the Lunch Date from Hell”

“Too Big for Me”

“Horny at Barnes & Noble”

“For Just A Dollar More”

“…And So I Dumped Her”

“Too Many Peas”

“Give the Gift of Old Spice”

“The Porn-Rag Arm Sling”

“Right Off the Top of the Volkswagon”

“En Route to the ER”

“One Useless 400-Mile Journey”

“Snake Tag”

“Individually Wrapped”

“John Guess, Santa Claus”

“Ersatz Buffet”

“Comes With Six Batteries!”

“The Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Fine Print”

“Exorcism, 4 p.m. BYOB”

“Santa Clara, partly cloudy, chance of rain, 38 degrees”